What do you picture when you have a house full of 11 people and two crazy dogs & it is the busiest time of year?!
Kids running up and down the stairs, moods flying, fighting over toys and tv shows, wondering if you left a kid while out, losing a kid only to realize big bro is holding her hand, extra food, lights burning out on half the tree, triple the dishes, bickering, threatening to take back presents, crying for no reason, juggling time with everyone, three trips to the ER, two Dr. visits, multiple airport trips, threatening to call Santa??? You got it, and so much more!
It’s so incredibly difficult to please everyone at all times, to keep the season magical for the little kids, to spend quality time with the older ones, to find family fun activities in a place you’ve never had a Christmas at, wrap presents, cook meals everyone will like, finding time with your husband because you’re both working like crazy to spend time with everyone, teaching them about Jesus, remembering to move the Elves, trying to make sure everyone feels loved, trying to be sensitive to everyone and their feelings and having to referee all day.
I guess I had those darn expectations and visions of what Christmas 🎄 vacation looked like. They were vastly different than reality.
I just wanted giggles, laughter, love, snuggles and a vacation filled with magic! I began feeling like a failure last night. The overwhelming feeling that THIS isn’t what Christmas should FEEL like. Has Christmas blues set in for you too?
I sat in prayer 🙏🏼 last night. My heart heavy. Somehow, I let the Holidays control me & the expectations consume me. This isn’t what Christmas was about. This wasn’t a part of the plan.
Though we most often read and say, “The Lord” (from our English Bibles), the original Hebrew translation, Yahweh, literally means “I am.” It’s simple and grand at the same time. It establishes existence but also active presence. One of the first times God describes himself in this way is to Moses after he fled to Egypt. Moses is tending someone else’s flock, uncertain of his future and his ability to ever change his situation. This is a man just like you and me who encountered a personal God who is the one, true “I am.”
Now, I have my own set of why and how questions, but I’ve learned to rest in knowing that Yahweh understands, even when I don’t.
He is concerned for us, hears our cries, and has a plan that far outshines our best attempts. Through doubts, heartbreak, and fears, God still says, “I am who I am.” He is the comfort you need. He is the guide for which you long. He is the truth for which you search. This holiday season, no matter our situations, we can have joy and peace through Yahweh. The answer to our praises, our cries, our hopes, and our fears is simply “I am.”